Experiencing College/Grad School Burnout

Hi everyone!

It's been awhile since I have posted anything, but I thought now would be a good time to talk about burnout in college/graduate school.

I am in my second year of my graduate studies now (and am almost done with one more semester to go). This semester has been challenging in many ways...

First off, at the beginning of the semester, I had a class with a person that I am not comfortable being around. I spent the first half of the semester trying to figure out my emotions in the situation and how to deal with it. Being that I have a hard time socially in general (partially because of my NVLD), having a class with someone I hoped to never see again was quite a surprise to me. As for the class itself, that's come with a whole other list of things that are difficult. 

Second, I started my research internship, which is a necessary step for me to take in order to get my master's degree in sociology. This has been a new and unique learning experience for me! I am learning what it is like to interview research participants in my study (ethically) and how to apply the skills I have learned throughout my time in the sociology graduate program. 

With all that being said, I have developed some burnout! This is when someone starts to lack motivation to do some of the tasks they may have. Being that I am in a class that has been difficult for me, I have lacked motivation myself with doing the assignments for that class. I have still done them, it has just taken me longer than normal because my motivation is just not there. 

Some things that help me with this includes listening to music (I like to be able to get in the zone). If I have a lot of energy to where I cannot focus, I go workout. Sometimes I'll use my rusty swimming skills and hit the pool or I will go for a jog outside. Being that I live in Colorado, the weather this time of year is unpredictable and that can be hard. I hope this provides you with ways to help when you are burned out. This can pertain to work or school. 

Anyways, that's my update. I hope you all enjoy it!

Caitlin.

My First Car Accident and Getting Back on the Road Again

 Hi everyone,

In this post, I will be talking about driving and my first car accident, which I got into two months ago.

In June, I was driving up to the city where I am attending graduate school because I had a job up there for three weeks. I had been driving back and forth each week to stay with a friend for the days I had to be up there. As I was getting on the highway to head up to my school, a van came up and was not going to let me on the road, so I sped up to get past him and then tried to get into another lane. As I was getting into the other lane, there was a car in my blindspot and I ended up hitting their right rear passenger fender. 

I was so shaken up. I had never been in a car accident before, let alone caused one. Driving has always been overwhelming for me. Due to my Nonverbal Learning Disability and anxiety, it took me until I was 22 to get my drivers license. So getting into a car accident was not fun for me, nor is it for anyone. Since then, I have not been driving much. I only drove when I had to. 

This past weekend, I had made plans with my friend who had just gotten engaged and we wanted to celebrate. She had to get her car serviced in town and she had asked me to pick her up from the car dealership where that was happening. I said I would but I was super nervous about driving to the other side of town on the local highway. 

As it turns out, I did okay. I made it to pick my friend up and did not have to deal with much traffic. And I also made it home with no problems too! 

Driving can be very scary sometimes, so if you are someone who is new to driving or has not driven in awhile, especially if you have anxiety about it, it's okay to be nervous but you just need to practice and put yourself back on the road again!

Camp Shriver 2023!

 Hello everyone!

This weekend, I had an amazing opportunity to be a camp counselor for a camp put on by Special Olympics Colorado called Camp Shriver. It is a camp for high school aged kids with and without disabilities to come together and do outdoor activities and have a summer camp experience! We had several athletes and unified partners from across the state of Colorado. 

The opportunity for me to be a counselor at this camp (for a second year in a row) is huge for me as it gives me a chance to help other individuals with disabilities and make a difference in their lives. 

I connected with so many campers. One of the campers in my group had autism and came the year before and did not speak much. This year, he was talking lots and more open to trying new things. There was another camper who I got to know and it turns out that we were on the same swim teams around the same time, which is really cool and makes me think about how it is a small world sometimes!

I enjoy doing things like this because I can use my own experiences with my nonverbal learning disability and other issues to help others with different types of disabilities. I can build a connection with them because I know what they are going through or dealing with! 

Anyways, this post is short but I wanted to share about my amazing experience being a counselor at Camp Shriver! 

P.S. the photo is my friend Emi and I. We were counselors for the Green Team at camp!

Completing My First Year of Grad School and Life Update

 Hi everyone,

It's been awhile since I have written on my blog. I have had a lot happen in the last few months or so. 

First off, I wanted to talk about how I made it through my first year of graduate school. It was a rough road but I did it! I faced many challenges including some with my mental health and personal issues that occurred during this time. This made grad school very hard. 

During my first semester, I wanted to drop out. My classes were hard, I had no clue what I was doing, and I was working three jobs! I did have a cool opportunity to go to New York City during this time though with my mom. We went to the NVLD Project Annual Fundraiser Gala. This was a new city for both me and my mom. We got some much needed mother-daughter bonding time. We saw a lot, from an upstate river cruise on the Hudson River to Times Square and Aladdin on Broadway! We also saw the Statue of Liberty of course and the 9/11 Museum and Memorial. NYC is an amazing place! I would definitely go back and I recommend it if you have not been already! The photo below is my mom and I in Times Square! 

 In January, right before second semester, I got let go from one of those jobs for unknown reasons, but I think it was due to my medical issues. I will never know and it is not worth wondering about. I also stepped down from my position in my university's student government, due to not having enough classes, which was actually good for me because not having to work all the time allowed me to focus on myself. 

Fast forward to this semester, I had an easier time in my classes and I ended up staying in school. Note that the first semester for graduate school is the hardest and everyone has imposter syndrome or does not know what they are doing. I was able to achieve all this due to having great friends who held me accountable for studying and getting my work done. I also finally listened to people in my support system and maintained a structured schedule. I learned the hard way that those things are what I need to succeed. 

Aside from school this semester, I was also making strides socially. I was in my first relationship for two months. It was going well, but I realized that I still had some work to do for myself and I ended it. He was a really good guy, but I just felt I was not ready for a relationship. I learned a lot from this experience, like what I want in the future for myself! 

Now to future endeavors! Next semester, I will be a teaching assistant for a professor in the sociology department at the University of Northern Colorado, where I completed my bachelor's degree and am currently getting my master's in sociology. I will also be starting my graduate internship with the Go on and Learn program as well as still mentoring students in this program as well. Lastly, I will take one class next semester and hopefully be able to graduate next spring! 

These past months have been a whirlwind but I am glad about how things turned out and what my future holds. I also hope to write on this more as I want to continue to inspire others with nonverbal learning disability and just disabilities in general and for people to know that you can do anything you put your mind to!

Until next time,

Caitlin.

Imposter Syndrome at its Finest!

                

Hey everyone,

I know I haven't written in awhile, but I have been crazy busy! Anyways, today I am discussing imposter syndrome. As someone who had been in college for four years and recently started graduate school, I believe this is something that happens to everyone, especially in the world of higher education. 

At some point or another, we have all felt like we do not belong. I have felt this most of my life with having nonverbal learning disability and other challenges I have dealt with. But now, I feel this more than ever since starting my graduate program. '

On my first day of class, my classmates and I had to read a few articles about "imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome id where you feel as if you don't belong somewhere. In my case, it is feeling like I do not have enough knowledge compared to the people in my cohort. There is also a sense of wondering whether it was the right choice for me, rather than going straight into the workforce after walking across that stage four months ago. 

I knew that I was attending grad school at the same place I got my bachelor's degree, so I thought "Oh I won't get imposter syndrome. I know this place, the town, the people. I got this!" Well, even with that, it still happened. The truth is, everyone gets it or has it. No matter whether you have a disability or not, whether you're in the workforce or in the world of academia. You probably have or have had imposter syndrome! I am learning that this is okay and is "normal" to an extent!

Let me know if you have felt this or currently feel this way in the comments!

Until next time,

Caitlin.

Appreciating the People in My Support System!

 

Have you every wondered how someone important to you has impacted your life. I think about this all the time as I do not think I would be as successful as I have been without all the influences in my life. As a recent college graduate with a disability, this is especially important to recognize. The student is not the only one on this journey, everyone supporting a student is on that journey too! It takes a whole team for a student with a disability to find success in school (at least most of the time). 

Being a Role Model for Others Like Me

Another thing I think about now that I have graduated from college is how I have or can be a role model for others like me who want to attend college. I think about this a lot more, especially since becoming a peer mentor for UNC's Go on and Learn program. Many of the students I have worked with in the program have become some of my closest friends and they look up to me! That is a very rewarding feeling! 

Last week, I had the opportunity to volunteer at a school where one of my old teachers works, Aurora West Preparatory Academy. Since I grew up in suburbia, coming to this inner-city school was a bit of a shock to me. I had passed through this area several times throughout my life, but never really stepped foot in it physically. The environment was very different from the one I went to school in. Many of these kids do not have the support outside of school that I had. They do not have many people to look up to and no plans for their future. 

I helped in my former teacher's classroom with some of the more mild/moderate needs students at the school. That was a blast! All of the students really took to me! One student, Brandon, really liked me! He hung out with me the whole time I was at the school helping out! 

I Am Fortunate to Have All The Support

Aside from helping in the classroom, I spoke to some high school students (it is a 6-12 school) at the school who have learning difficulties and anxiety. I spoke to them about what it is like living with a disability and how you can overcome several obstacles to achieve what you want.

When I was speaking to the high school students, I had one girl ask "how did you afford college?" I was lucky to have all the supports I have had. My parents worked very hard to save money so I could attend college. My teachers (most of them) worked with me to get to a point where college could be a possibility (and it was)! College became a reality and I made it through because of my support system! If I learned anything in the last four years, it is to appreciate what I have and all the support I have received as others may not be as lucky. The photo below would not be possible if it weren't for several of the amazing people I have in my life!!!

Getting My Bachelor's Degree! What's Next? (College Series #4)

 Hey everyone!

I know it has been awhile but I have had a lot go on in the last month! I was in the hospital about a month ago and just a week and a half ago, I graduated from the University of Northern Colorado with my Bachelor of Arts in Communications with a minor in Sociology! It has been a busy time! 

I wanted to write on the topic of myself getting a college degree as it is becoming a more common occurrence for individuals with learning and cognitive disabilities and I plan to go into a field where I can be an advocate for future college students with disabilities. As I mentioned when I first started writing this blog, my parents were told that I would never read, write, walk, or talk when I was born. Aside from that, graduate with a college degree. 

This is a major milestone for anyone, but especially for people like me! I have always been told by someone at one point or another that I would not be able to do a variety of things (read, write, walk, or talk, make it through middle or high school, etc.). I have proved all those individuals wrong over and over again by achieving this milestone of graduating from college! 

Moving onto what is next! For the summer, I have no clue what my plan is. I know I want to work some to save up and become financially independent (for the most part). I am moving from my studio apartment into a house (with 4 other girls) in Greeley. That bring me to the solidified part of my plan: continuing my education at UNC in their sociology graduate program! My ultimate goal is to go into disability advocacy at colleges and universities. I want to improve services provided for those students as I know what is can be like from that perspective!

Well that's my post for today! I hope you all enjoy reading about my latest endeavors!